Married to a Feminist?

I was snooping around some blogs only to come across one maintained by a feminist. In the course of reading some material by her, I discovered that she was “married.” At first, I entertained the possibility that she was simply referring to a lesbian lover in a domestic partnership. But no, she actually has a husband and even a son. This discovery was surprising in light of the militant tone of her blog. Surely, she must regard any contact with the opposite sex as being defiling. What other possibilities could there be?

1. An arranged marriage? He provides the necessary genetic material for a child she wants? No, fertility clinics can solve that conundrum.

2. She came to her position after she got married and after much soul-searching. This is a possibility.

Beyond her marital status, I don’t know anything else about her personal life. I wonder what her husband thinks of her ideology. Is he even aware of it? How can a normal, confident, heterosexual man be knowingly married to a feminist?

You might say, “Simple! He respects intelligent women and is sensitive to their viewpoints, challenges, dreams, and values!” Granted, there is no doubt that he respects her, but the question is this: Does he respect himself in light of a very real possibility that she doesn’t respect him?

As I said, I know nothing about their marriage, but I am well aware about the disposition of many feminist activists. If a man marries a feminist, he is involving himself with a woman who is, by default, distrustful of men. After all, according to feminists, it is men who have caused most of the problems of the world, and the only way to solve these problems is to incapacitate men through various punitive measures. Yet how can healthy marriage be built upon a foundation of distrust like this?

Moreover, how can a feminist’s husband sleep at night, knowing full well that his wife supports a legal system that singles out (pardon the pun) married men for financial ruin? Maybe he walks on eggshells, day after day, knowing that if he tried to cut and run, she would destroy him. What would keep her from doing it? Here is a woman that is quite capable of rationalizing every act of cruel and petty vindictiveness under the mantra of “he had it coming to him.” And guess what? The law of the land and the culture at large would back her up. What will happen that one fateful day when he accidentally forgets to put the toilet seat down? Indeed, what a brave soul he is, but alas, “braveness” is often a synonym for stupidity.

2 Responses to “Married to a Feminist?”

  1. 1 ehartsay
    June 30, 2006 at 6:52 pm

    There are *many* Christians who deny even the possibility of evolution and are convinced that dinosaurs never existed. This does not mean that ALL Christians feel that way.
    I am a feminist, and I have no problem dealing with any other person, male, female, transgendered or any other gender first and foremost as a PERSON like myself.
    Yes, there are some radical feminists, just like there are radicals in nearly every political, religious or cultural persuasion and group, but even the ‘radical’ feminists are not always extreme on the same subjects and do not always hold the same views.
    Feminism, again, like Christianity, is full of uncountable sects and groups with very different ideas and beliefs, and even every individual has a different take.
    I think that for many of the internet extreme seeming ists, there is a certain stage in which discussion and analysis of philosophies may run wild, in ways that people would not apply to their own lives or their day to day interaction with the real world.
    After all there are many philosophers who debate the very basis nature of reality to the point of questioning whether or not reality even DOES exist – but who are still perfectly capable of existing in the world like any other person.
    Yes there may be people who apply the most radical concepts to their own lives and in reality, but there are crazies everywhere.

  2. 2 ehartsay
    June 30, 2006 at 6:52 pm

    P.S. And frankly, for every feminist there is a different definition of what ‘feminism’ means.

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