02
Apr
07

The End (For Now)

[Note: This post was originally written on April 2, 2007 at the original blog site. This is an archive, folks.]

Well, if there is anyone still checking this blog for updates, I have some news for you: this is it. I don’t plan to update this blog. Why?

(1) When I started Faith and Society approximately two years ago, the number of men blogging about Men’s Rights Activism, let alone MGTOW, were few and far between. Now, MGTOW blogs have mushroomed left and right.

(2) I have come to the conclusion that this blog focuses on too many things. If and when I start another blog, my subject matter will be more defined (or at least that is the plan).

So, where does that leave you? Well, if you want to copy any of my articles, now is the time. It’s a rummage sale! I’ll be leaving the gate open for a while, but soon it will be shut. I also recommend that you check out a new forum which discusses much of what I discussed here – religious men vs. the Femamatrix. Go to egghead.adamsspace.com and click on “Egghead’s Forum” (the link right above the picture of Calvin on the top left hand side). You’ll have to register for an account, but once you do, step inside and introduce yourself. Break the ice and share your horror stories of living life in the Femamatrix and battling against churchy Estrogelicalism.

Take care.

24
Feb
07

A Rotten Egg In A Bird’s Nest (My Guilty Pleasure of Fisking Uccellina)

I know it has been several months since I’ve posted something on this blog. I’ve been tied up with other matters, but the beast has been stirred from its slumber by a chattering bird in a nest. The blogger of the site in question is apparently the same woman who caused another anti-feminist site some problems. I would ignore her, except for the fact that she has taken issue with this blog and the “Catalog of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics.” Like most feminist bloggers I’ve seen, the vigor in which she burns her straw-MRAs is not matched by a sound grasp of certain inconvenient facts. Attend to my “guilty pleasure” of fisking “Uccellina” as I deal with a little rotten egg of hers …

“But for a really guilty pleasure, I read conservative websites. Specifically, I read Men’s Rights Activism sites and blogs, and have ever since the eensy-weensy … that erupted on my blog a few months back. I don’t comment on them, but I read them. And I do not lightly dismiss them.”

Ah! But when Uccellina’s hand gets called in her portrayal of MRAs as “conservative” she admits

“I’ve noticed the same thing you have, Serin – that MRAs have a broad range of political opinions on issues other than gender and feminism. Their opinions on those issues, however, may safely be deemed conservative opinions. Therefore I feel secure in labeling websites devoted to MRA ‘conservative websites.'”

I suppose anyone to right of Karl Marx would seem to be “conservative” to a feminist. I do not exaggerate too much when I say that (as this academic work attests). As for issues “other than gender and feminism,” how many feminists do you know who aren’t groupies for the Democratic Party or some socialist outfit? Of course, they’ll probably declare the mainstream of the Democratic party as being “sell-outs” … until it comes their time to rally around a President who likes to grope women. Feminists are essentially leftist and statist. To say that feminists address the concerns of women is like saying Communists address the concerns of workers. I suppose women like Wendy McElroy would belie the notion that all feminists are Maoists with mascara, but the true believers don’t accept her. Uccellina says …

“I’m interested in these sites for several reasons, not the least of which is the sucking vacuum created by the absence of logic in most of their arguments. I also enjoy the back-slapping atmosphere of boyish camaraderie, and the grammatically adventurous venom unleashed on dissenters. But beyond these small pleasures is the voyeuristic fascination of finding out how these people think, and how they interact when they’re in groups of like-minded people. My point is not to expose these Men’s Rights Activists and anti-feminists as hypocritical and misogynistic – they accomplish that all by themselves. What I find much more interesting is the systematic co-opting of the language of oppression.”

“Absence of logic”? Since when have feminists been concerned about logic? Hmmm, what’s wrong with this picture? Ah, yes! I know. Have no fear! Regender.com will fix the problem. Here we go – an apt description of how I feel about feminist blogs:

“I’m interested in these sites for several reasons, not the least of which is the sucking vacuum created by the absence of logic in most of their arguments. I also enjoy the back-slapping atmosphere of girlish camaraderie, and the grammatically adventurous venom unleashed on dissenters. But beyond these small pleasures is the voyeuristic fascination of finding out how these people think, and how they interact when they’re in groups of like-minded people. My point is not to expose these Women’s Rights Activists and anti-masculists as hypocritical and misandristic – they accomplish that all by themselves. What I find much more interesting is the systematic co-opting of the language of oppression.

Yep. That sounds like Pandagon.net in spades! As for “co-opting the language of oppression”, would that be referring to a bunch of bourgeoise, white women co-opting the language of the Civil Rights Movement?

“Feminism, they say, is a cult of victimhood. And yet the anti-feminists have codified their own list of victimization. The Catalog of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics is a perennial favorite on MRA sites.”

Bzzz! The list doesn’t categorize how men have been mistreated (although that is a worthy subject to address). It categorizes the asinine remarks made to men who raise valid concerns about misandry (and some remarks on Uccellina’s site certainly fall under the list’s purview).

“Examples of the ‘shaming language’ used by women/feminists against anti-feminist men include such phrases as ‘You’re bitter!’ and ‘You need to get over your anger at women,’ to which the author proposes the response should be ‘Anger is a legitimate emotion in the face of injustice.’ The inverse is not considered valid, however; ‘angry,’ ‘bitter,’ and ‘bitchy’ women are not expressing ‘legitimate emotion,’ but are simply angry, bitter, and bitchy.”

I get it. Nobody takes the outrage of women seriously. Rape shield laws, domestic violence laws, anti-discriminaton laws, Title IX, Emily’s List, the Ford Foundation, affirmative action in jobs/education/ad nauseam, popular media showing women taking vengeance on men … all of these things just don’t exist!

“‘Code Lavender’ is frequently found on MRA blogs
when male commenters dissent from the party line.”

Let’s see … when men question the manhood of a male feminist, they are committing Code Lavender (see list of shaming tactics), but when a feminist questions the womanhood of a conservative woman, she is …. ? And, of course, if we are going to cherry-pick comments on blogs the way Uccellina does, let’s not overlook her defenders’ use of Code Lavender.

If a man takes a self-loathing view of his own sex, then it is understandable why others may question his masculinity (given that he questions it himself). This is different from attacking men who refuse to be doormats for women or refuse to live up to the antiquated model of misguided chivalry and being wage slaves. In the latter sense, questioning a man’s sexual identity or masculinity is ridiculous, but gynocentrists do it just the same, don’t they? As it is, feminists have a wonderful penchant for flip-flopping. They may see “strong men” as being problematic (“strong women” are never a problem), but some of them will then turn around and accuse a fellow of not being a “strong man” if he doesn’t go along with their song and dance.

“The ‘Charge of Misogyny’ is listed as a shaming tactic, as to which the author says ‘One may ask the accuser how does a pro-male agenda become inherently anti-female (especially since feminists often claim that gains for men and women are “not a zero-sum game”).’ This response, of course, assumes that the agenda is pro-male and not anti-female, a claim not entirely supported by the popular MRA website menarebetterthanwomen.com …”

Excellent. Cherry-pick a few sites, find some sharply worded posts about feminists or female behavior, and portray every MRA as a man who hates all human beings born with XX chromosomes. Uccellina has just validated what I believe about the “Charge of Misogyny” as a shaming tactic! Come on. Do we really want to play the game of quotations, my dear feminist readers?

“These blogs and websites represent a surprisingly large chunk of internet voices (though not as large as, say, blogs devoted to Star Trek), and they are, for the most part, very, very angry. The CDC, hardly a feminist organization, has a fact sheet on what they term ‘Intimate Partner Violence’. Risk factors for being abused include

  • being female (!)
  • for women, having a greater education level than their partner’s
  • dominance and control of the relationship by the male.

Risk factors for being a perpetrator?

  • Anger and hostility
  • belief in strict gender roles (e.g., male dominance and aggression in relationships)
  • desire for power and control in relationships
  • dominance and control of the relationship by the male.

I certainly do not mean to suggest that any of the bloggers or site-administrators listed above are abusers themselves. But they are part of and feeding into a culture of anger and violence against women. I read their blogs because, as individual screeds, they amuse me. But I do not dismiss them, because as a collective voice of aggression and hostility, they bear watching.”

Erm, there are actually quite a few other risk factors that play into the equation of domestic violence, as the CDC itself attests (e.g., low self-esteem, low income, drug/alcohol abuse, etc.). Concerning these risk factors, the CDC states: “A combination of individual, relational, community, and societal factors contribute to the risk of being a victim or perpetrator of IPV. Understanding these multilevel factors can help identify various points of prevention intervention.” But of course, Uccellina conveniently ignore this truth and goes for the facile, feministic paradigm of understanding domestic violence (isolate the risk factors that focus exclusively on men and blow them out of proportion). By the way, I certainly do not mean to suggest that Uccellina is an abuser herself, but considering her own criteria for domestic violence, perhaps feminists like her are “feeding into a culture of anger and violence” against men. Or maybe it’s high time that feminist like her get a clue about the real nature of domestic violence.

In closing, I find it strange that certain blogs and related sites which are supposedly less populous than the cyberpace inhabited by Trekkies are sites which nonetheless “bear watching.” It strikes me that while Uccellina tries to downplay the significance of MRA sites, she still wants to portray us as some ill-defined threat to women everywhere. In short, my readers, this is why I don’t take the collective intelligence of feminist blogging seriously. Outside of Ampersand, most of the blogging is shrill, estrogen-laced histronics, or hand-wringing, self-flagellating exercises of male penitence (ala Hugo Schwyzer’s blog). Yep. I see a chick just fell from the nest.

01
Sep
06

Thanks for Showing Me Where My Alimony Payment Went

… And thank you Ford for showing men what they can look forward to in this society.

08
Aug
06

Straight from the Horse’s Mouth

I came across an article by a woman who wants to counter the influence of the “feminist bashers” by uniting “around core concerns” and harnessing “a third wave.” Whatever. It’s simply another plaintive cry for more of the same intellectually bankrupt nonsense that has come to epitomize feminism (all caged, of course, in lofty language that sounds harmless enough to the uninformed).

At any rate, I found this quote striking:

“We need to harness the beginnings of a third wave of feminism. A unified movement must include those who feminism has failed to reach in the past, such as men, many ethnic minority women, working-class women, and young women.” [emphasis mine]

Well, there you have it. Straight from the horse’s mouth. Mind you, this statement comes not from just any woman. Dr. Katherine Rake, director of the Fawcett Society, is the one making this observation. She is the top gun at a feminist organization.

I thought I would never see the day when a leading feminist would admit that feminism has not been about following groups: men, minority women, working-class women, and young women. Who has it been about? Well, by process of elimination, we can gather that it has been about aging, white, upper professional women. Yep, that sounds about right when you look at the leaders of the feminist movement. I thank you for that embarrasing admission, Dr. Rake …. even if your fellow feminists won’t.

03
Aug
06

To the Leaders and Participants of the Men’s Movement (Guest Editorial)

[The following is a guest editorial by the blogger from the site Russian Women. His editorial is reprinted here by his request …]

For some time now I’ve taken an interest in the various elements of the Men’s Movement and have wanted to advocate a different line of thinking that I believe will significantly advance the well being of Western men everywhere.

Most of us intimately know the abyss of pain that comes with the dissolution of a marriage. A pain that is often compounded with the seperation of children from our active presence. There is no doubt to most of us that a deeply imbalanced society has delivered a cruel irony that shreds at the very purpose we men have in elevating society itself through the raising of our families.

The road to happiness is further obstructed when we as men try to establish meaningful relationships with women. However noble our pursuit we are still faced with degraded options, toxic behaviors and jaded material expectations.

Often all available roads lead to a broken heart that cannot easily be repaired.

In the modern women that surround us we unfortunately face an adversary that we actually want to love. However because that desire is turned against us, to pursue them romantically would likely spell our own demise. In the absence of trust.. in the absence of support.. in the absence of sacrifice.. we are faced with a grim calculus of competing interests. And like it or not.. for the sake of ourselves, for our future progeny, and for the very future of society itself we must change this equation.

The only way to do this is to first understand it’s underlying cause which I have known to be simple economics. Not the economics of money or finance but the more basic economics of supply and demand.

Men qualified to be successful husbands vs. women qualified to be successful wives.

When our own society starts to promote the very idea that being a wife is undesirable then the number of women (supply) who are even willing to consider the responsibilities of marriage falls dramatically and this leads to a vicious cycle of demand on the part of men that can never be met though traditional means.

If we realize the cause then the solution becomes obvious in that we should open up every man’s range of choices outside of the traditional domestic domain. For some this may mean looking towards Asia or South America while for many others like myself that path lead to the beautiful and traditional women of Russia and the FSU.

At the heart of most Men’s issues are problems surrounding women. Our own emotional health is heavily dependent on our ability to be naturally loved and nourished with women who are loving supporters and not competitors. Because of this I believe that the Men’s Movement should transition it’s primary advocacy more towards the expansion of relationship choices that we can all benefit from.

It is well known that despair comes from a feeling of helplessness in the face of long term problems while confidence comes from the realization of positive choices ahead. If we again take the economics approach and “open up the market” of options available to us then the anti-male hostility that is so present in our time will dissipate with the wind in short order.

As we all know it takes two to tango but if we collectively select a newer and better partner then someone will be embarassingly left alone on the dance floor to hold their own handbag full of poison.

It’s clear that the existing areas of focus that the Men’s Movement promotes will still remain critically important for the foreseeable future. However the stark warning that I issue is that we do not use the past history of the Women’s movement with it’s never ending focus on victim-hood as a model for our own. Instead we can focus on actual solutions that bring real joy and strength for our future.

Or in the humorous words of one of my friends,

“We can gaze at our belly or we can look towards the sky..”

Gentlemen thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

The Editor, Russian Women blog

06
Jun
06

New Entry for the Catalog of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics

Recently, I came up with the “Catalog of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics” to categorize the primary ways in which men are shamed and ridiculed when they discuss matters related to Men’s Rights Activism. If you have not done so, I suggest you look at the list. Anyway, I have thought of a new entry. The Catalog will be revised with the following addition:

Charge of Defeatism (Code Maroon)

Discussion: This shaming tactic is akin to the Charge of Irascibility and the Charge of Cowardice in that the accuser attacks the target’s negative or guarded attitude about a situation. However, the focus is not so much on the target’s anger or fear, but on the target’s supposed attitude of resignation. Examples:

  • “Stop being so negative.”
  • “You are so cynical.”
  • “If you refuse to have relationships with women, then you are admitting defeat.”
  • “C’mon! Men are doers, not quitters.”

Response: The charge of defeatism can be diffused by explaining that one is merely being realistic about a situation. Also, one can point out that asking men to just accept their mistreatment at the hands of women and society is the real attitude that is defeatist. Many men have not lost their resolve; many have lost their patience.

I am fast running out of colors to code the shaming tactics. I suppose gynocentrists have as many ways to snipe at men as there are shades and hues in a 32-bit color palette. If the Charge of Optimism was a shaming tactic, I’d have to designate it as Code Rose.

27
May
06

The Catalog of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics

"Shaming tactics."  This phrase is familiar to many Men’s Rights Activists.  It conjures up the histrionic behavior of female detractors who refuse to argue their points with logic.  Yet women are not the only ones guilty of using shaming tactics against men.  Male gynocentrists use them, too.

Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man’s insecurities and shut down debate.  They are meant to elicit sympathy for women and to demonize men who ask hard questions.  Most, if not all, shaming tactics are basically ad homimem attacks. 

Anyway, it might be helpful to categorize the major shaming tactics that are used against men whenever a discussion arises about feminism, men’s issues, romance, etc.  The following list contains descriptions of shaming tactics, some examples of quotes employing the tactics, and even color-coded aliases for mnemonic purposes.  Enjoy.

Charge of Irascibility (Code Red)

Discussion: The target is accused of having anger management issues.  Whatever negative emotions he has are assumed to be unjustifiable.  Examples:

  • "You’re bitter!"
  • "You need to get over your anger at women."
  • "You are so negative!"

Response: Anger is a legitimate emotion in the face of injustice.   It is important to remember that passive acceptance of evil is not a virtue.

Charge of Cowardice (Code Yellow)

Discussion: The target is accused of having an unjustifiable fear of interaction with women.  Examples:

  • "You need to get over your fear."
  • "Step up and take a chance like a man!"
  • "You’re afraid of a strong woman!"

Response: It is important to remember that there is a difference between bravery and stupidity.  The only risks that reasonable people dare to take are calculated risks.  One weighs the likely costs and benefits of said risks.  As it is, some men are finding out that many women fail a cost-benefit analysis.

Charge of Hypersensitivity (Code Blue) – The Crybaby Charge

Discussion: The target is accused of being hysterical or exaggerating the problems of men (i.e., he is accused of playing "Chicken Little").  Examples:

  • "Stop whining!"
  • "Get over it!"
  • "Suck it up like a man!"
  • "You guys don’t have it as nearly as bad as us women!"
  • "You’re just afraid of losing your male privileges."
  • "Your fragile male ego …"
  • "Wow!  You guys need to get a grip!"

Response: One who uses the Code Blue shaming tactic reveals a callous indifference to the humanity of men.  It may be constructive to confront such an accuser and ask if a certain problem men face needs to be addressed or not ("yes" or "no"), however small it may be seem to be.  If the accuser answers in the negative, it may constructive to ask why any man should care about the accuser’s welfare since the favor will obviously not be returned.  If the accuser claims to be unable to do anything about the said problem, one can ask the accuser why an attack is necessary against those who are doing something about it.

Charge of Puerility (Code Green) – The Peter Pan Charge

Discussion: The target is accused of being immature and/or irresponsible in some manner that reflects badly on his status as an adult male.  Examples:

  • "Grow up!"
  • "You are so immature!"
  • "Do you live with your mother?"
  • "I’m not interested in boys.  I’m interested in real men."
  • "Men are shirking their God-given responsibility to marry and bear children."

Response: It should be remembered that one’s sexual history, marital status, parental status, etc. are not reliable indicators of maturity and accountability.  If they were, then we would not hear of white collar crime, divorce, teen sex, unplanned pregnancies, extramarital affairs, etc.

Charge of Endangerment (Code Orange) – The Elevated Threat Charge

Discussion: The target is accused of being a menace in some undefined manner.  This charge may be coupled with some attempt to censor the target.  Examples:

  • "You guys are scary."
  • "You make me feel afraid."

Response: It may be constructive to point out that only bigots and tyrants are afraid of having the truth expressed to them.  One may also ask why some women think they can handle leadership roles if they are so threatened by a man’s legitimate freedom of expression.

Charge of Rationalization (Code Purple) – The Sour Grapes Charge

Discussion: The target is accused of explaining away his own failures and/or dissatisfaction by blaming women for his problems.  Example:

  • "You are just bitter because you can’t get laid."

Response: In this case, it must be asked if it really matters how one arrives at the truth.  In other words, one may submit to the accuser, "What if the grapes really are sour?"  At any rate, the Code Purple shaming tactic is an example of what is called "circumstantial ad hominem."

Charge of Fanaticism (Code Brown) – The Brown Shirts Charge

Discussion: The target is accused of subscribing to an intolerant, extremist ideology or of being devoted to an ignorant viewpoint.  Examples:

  • "You’re one of those right-wing wackos."
  • "You’re an extremist"
  • "You sound like the KKK."
  • "… more anti-feminist zaniness"

Response: One should remember that the truth is not decided by the number of people subscribing to it.  Whether or not certain ideas are "out of the mainstream" is besides the point.  A correct conclusion is also not necessarily reached by embracing some middle ground between two opposing viewpoints (i.e., the logical fallacy of "False Compromise").

Charge of Invirility (Code Lavender)

Discussion: The target’s sexual orientation or masculinity is called into question.  Examples:

  • "Are you gay?"
  • "I need a real man, not a sissy."
  • "You’re such a wimp."

Response: Unless one is working for religious conservatives, it is usually of little consequence if a straight man leaves his accusers guessing about his sexual orientation.

Charge of Overgeneralization (Code Gray)

Discussion: The target is accused of making generalizations or supporting unwarranted stereotypes about women.  Examples:

  • "I’m not like that!"
  • "Stop generalizing!"
  • "That’s a sexist stereotype!"

Response: One may point out that feminists and many other women make generalizations about men.  Quotations from feminists, for example, can be easily obtained to prove this point.  Also, one should note that pointing to a trend is not the same as overgeneralizing.  Although not all women may have a certain characteristic, a significant amount of them might. 

Charge of Misogyny (Code Black)

Discussion: The target is accused of displaying some form of unwarranted malice to a particular woman or to women in general.
Examples:

  • "You misogynist creep!"
  • "Why do you hate women?"
  • "Do you love your mother?"
  • "You are insensitive to the plight of women."
  • "You are mean-spirited."
  • "You view women as doormats."
  • "You want to roll back the rights of women!!"
  • "You are going to make me cry."

Response: One may ask the accuser how does a pro-male agenda become inherently anti-female (especially since feminists often claim that gains for men and women are "not a zero-sum game").  One may also ask the accuser how do they account for women who agree with the target’s viewpoints. The Code Black shaming tactic often integrates the logical fallacies of "argumentum ad misericordiam" (viz., argumentation based on pity for women) and/or "argumentum in terrorem" (viz., arousing fear about what the target wants to do to women).

Charge of Instability (Code White) – The White Padded Room Charge

Discussion: The target is accused of being emotionally or mentally unstable.  Examples:

  • "You’re unstable."
  • "You have issues."
  • "You need therapy."
  • "Weirdo!"

Response: In response to this attack, one may point to peer-reviewed literature and then ask the accuser if the target’s mental and/or emotional condition can explain the existence of valid research on the matter.

Charge of Selfishness (Code Silver)

Discussion: This attack is self-explanatory.  It is a common charge hurled at men who do not want to be bothered with romantic pursuits.  Examples:

  • "You are so materialistic."
  • "You are so greedy."

Response: It may be beneficial to turn the accusation back on the one pressing the charge.  For instance, one may retort, "So you are saying I shouldn’t spend my money on myself, but should instead spend it on a woman like you —and you accuse me of being selfish?? Just what were you planning to do for me anyway?"

Charge of Superficiality (Code Gold) – The All-That-Glitters Charge

Discussion: The charge of superficiality is usually hurled at men with regard to their mating preferences.  Examples:

  • "If you didn’t go after bimbos, then …"
  • "How can you be so shallow and turn down a single mother?"

Response: Average-looking women can be just as problematic in their behavior as beautiful, "high-maintanence" women. Regarding the shallowness of women, popular media furnishes plenty of examples where petty demands are made of men by females (viz., those notorious laundry lists of things a man should/should not do for his girlfriend or wife). 

Charge of Unattractiveness (Code Tan) – The Ugly Tan Charge

Discussion: The target is accused of having no romantic potential as far as women are concerned.  Examples:

  • "I bet you are fat and ugly."
  • "You can’t get laid!"
  • "Creep!"
  • "Loser!"
  • "Have you thought about the problem being you?"

Response: This is another example of "circumstantial ad hominem."  The target’s romantic potential ultimately does not reflect on the merit of his arguments.

Charge of Defeatism (Code Maroon)

Discussion: This shaming tactic is akin to the Charge of Irascibility and the Charge of Cowardice in that the accuser attacks the target’s negative or guarded attitude about a situation.  However, the focus is not so much on the target’s anger or fear, but on the target’s supposed attitude of resignation.  Examples:

  • "Stop being so negative."
  • "You are so cynical."
  • "If you refuse to have relationships with women, then you are admitting defeat."
  • "C’mon! Men are doers, not quitters."

Response: The charge of defeatism can be diffused by explaining that one is merely being realistic about a situation.  Also, one can point out that asking men to just accept their mistreatment at the hands of women and society is the real attitude that is defeatist.  Many men have not lost their resolve; many have lost their patience.

Threat of Withheld Affection (Code Pink) – The Pink Whip

Discussion: The target is admonished that his viewpoints or behavior will cause women to reject him as a mate.  Examples:

  • "No woman will marry you with that attitude."
  • "Creeps like you will never get laid!"

Response: This is an example of the logical fallacy "argumentum ad baculum" (the "appeal to force").  The accuser attempts to negate the validity of a position by pointing to some undesirable circumstance that will befall anyone who takes said position.  Really, the only way to deal with the "Pink Whip" is to realize that a man’s happiness and worth is not based on his romantic conquests (including marriage).

——–
(Updated June 6, 2006)




Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.